Sunday, January 8, 2012

Telling Lies & Playing Games

Today I was thinking a lot about playing games. It's a bad idea and should be avoided right? Same thing with telling lies. Lies are always bad.

But, doesn't everyone do both? 
This is me and my momma on my very first day. Everyone starts out as this clean, pure little person. You cry without abandon
(I've always been a little on the emotional side!)

 and do whatever it takes to be comfortable. You get a few years older and you are trained to understand limits like "yes" and "no" but still don't have much self-awareness.
You run around in your underwear (yep that's me again!) and do whatever is fun and feels good at the time. Then somebody makes you feel like that's not ok:

Then you realize you have to play games. You can't just run around in your underwear everywhere and cry whenever you feel like crying. You have to pretend. Or sit on the nerdy side of the lunch room.
(From my very high maintenance days before going away to college!)

You have to put on makeup, and pretend you don't know the good things about you are good (or you're cocky) or the bad things about you are bad (or you have low self esteem).

It's a lot of work and learning how to do that take up most of your teen years! This might sound like only a girl problem. Maybe during the teen years it is... I don't know! 

Then there's dating. I think people that meet in grade school and only date each other and eventually get married are so lucky! 
(Ok so Kevin and Winnie didn't end up together. But they should've!)

But for those of us who aren't as lucky there are walls. Walls that you put up for only the one to take down. With that person you won't play games. With that person there won't be a rule about how soon is too soon to call after a first date, when the first kiss should be, how soon to meet the parents, who says I love you first, etc. You'll just know and you just won't have to bother with all of that.

But how do you know? How do you not take down the walls for the wrong person and get your heart broken? 
Here's a super funny video about the games people (in this video women) play while dating:

When you date you can't just put everything out there right away. If I went on a first date and admitted that no matter how much weight I lose I'll never have tiny little thighs, that I love all things trash TV but also could not leave the house for two solid days because I'm reading a good book, that I have scars all over my body from MRSA, that sometimes I like trying new things but often get stuck in a rut, that I can be a really emotional person, and that I blog about my dating life I wouldn't have a second date with that guy! If I called him on my way home to say I had had so much fun I'd be labeled desperate. There are so many dumb rules. Some people might say that they hate rules, but they have them too! This is dating. 

Then there's Secret Single Behavior. Secret Single Behavior was a term given to us by good old Sex and the City in season 4 during the "Good Fight" episode. The girls explain that living with men cramps their secret single behavior. Charlotte loves staring at her pores for hours in front of a magnifying mirror. Miranda puts vaseline on her hands, puts them in gloves, and watches infomercials for hours. Carrie puts grape jelly on saltines and reads fashion magazines naked in the kitchen. Men have this too:
We're all dorks. Everyone out there is pretending in some way or another. We all have done something like this (or maybe me and the writer of this movie are the only ones):
But we all play games and pretend we're not! 

Supposedly when I meet the one that walls and games won't matter? One of my exes got engaged on Saturday. He was the most uptight person in the universe. Somehow he let the walls down enough to find the right person? Why now vs. back when I knew him? Is it me? Is it timing? It all makes me very confused.

I take comfort in the fact that Stephen Hawking, a brilliant mind, said this week that one of the biggest unsolved mysteries of the universe to him is women. We're all just a big game playing mystery to each other aren't we? 

I for one would like it to stop. I want to be a big dork that can roam around in just my underwear, cry when I want to, and say I love you when I feel like it. Maybe you'll join me? If more people do it maybe that will become the cool thing to do!

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