Live With Intention!

I drive a lot to and from work. I've seen more fatalities in the last year than I could've ever imagined. It's  a very real reminder that you're never guaranteed to make it to work. Or to wake up... Have you been living each day like it was your last? I know I haven't. We could all take some notes from this guy, who unfortunately died this week. I promise you, this is a video worth watching from beginning to end... Although you'll probably cry like a baby like I did.

Now go make today worth it!

Being Engaged Sucks

How rude of me huh?! I spend a decade complaining about how I want to get married and now I am about to. And I complain! But after googling "is it normal to fight all the time after getting engaged" and seeing the words pop up before I finished typing I figured I wasn't alone. 

First off:

I adore this man. I am 1000% making the right decision. 

But the seriousness of this whole thing just came crashing down as soon as the ring was on. I'm going to be washing his crusty socks and folding his jeans for the rest of my life. He will eat all of the good food I was excited for before I get to. He will use fabric softener instead of detergent when he hears me complaining about the laundry and decides to help. He will not do things my way. 

I'm at the brink of this whole thing coming a little too late. I've lived on my own for the last 8 years. Completely alone. I've always refused to get a roommate in an apartment or for my house. Me, the dog, and the cat were a complete little family. I could stash a chocolate bar in my pantry for 3 months and pull it out in a moment of desperation and know it would be there. I could put the toilet paper on with it folding over the top and know that nobody would do it backwards. I could sleep with it super warm so that my nose didn't get cold. I could sing badly and nobody would hear. 

It's all about to change. A year from now it might have been too late for me and I thank God for his timing. 

Not only that, but I am signing on the dotted line that this one and only man is the only man that will ever ever be for me. I'm great with that. But then he does something and I think, "ok wait. That for the rest of my life?!" And I wonder if I'll be enough. What do I do that makes him think "Ok wait, she'll be that OCD for the rest of her life?!" We're making some serious vows! And I hope I can be a great wife. A great mother. I just hope I can be enough. And he is putting pressure on himself. Will he provide enough? He's about to inherit a woman, a dog, a cat, a house, another car, and a whole life full of responsibility. 

On top of that the wedding is this year. I have 1 more week off before it. I need to plan. Planning has brought out the great and the terrible in people. I hate making phone calls, yet lately it seems like all I do! It'll be amazing, but it's stressful. If it'll all work, if I'll forget something major, if it'll be wayyyy too expensive, will I fit into my dress, etc. Those are all things that are looming. 

Then there is family. We have to merge two families. All of the great things and all of the junk have to merge. My mom always told me to take a long hard look at a man's family before you agree to marry him. 

Put all of this commitment, all of the little things that you're realizing will be a part of your life forever, all of the set-in-my-ways stuff I have to let go of, family, and all of the planning that has to happen together and there will be fights. I found this site (I don't know the owner. It just was great reading)! It made me feel like I wasn't alone. I also talked to my mom. She said every thing I'd been feeling and gave me advice. This weekend we went on a date where I banned myself from talking about the wedding. It was heaven! 

So I have no resolution. I am incredibly blessed to be typing this with an engagement ring on my finger, his crusty socks in my hamper, and wedding pamphlets everywhere. This will pass and I'll look back later and wonder what the big deal was. I just needed to put it in print so I could look back later :)

The One Where I Try to Not Talk ALL About Wedding Stuff...

So, it's been a couple of weeks since I updated. Since then I've done a few things around the house and I've flown to Florida to plan my just-after-Thanksgiving wedding. I still think it's crazy that I'm the bride this time around and that I know what I'll be wearing and where I'll be standing when I say "I do." So, here's what's new:

I started juicing. How could you not after watching the documentary "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead?" I'm a sucker for lifestyle changes after watching those. And... I have a dress to fit into. "Forks over Knives" is another good one if you want some motivation!

 This is my refrigerator these days. It's so strange!

 I'm gonna have a new last name on in less than 7 months!

 We've had some campfires, s'mores, wine, and dog play time in the yard.

 She seems to be super happy at the prospect of having a dad!

 We had a planting and mulching partner this year!

 I got this super cute cork board for the side of the fridge that makes my kitchen look so cute:

 Chicago had some major rain and flooding during that hell week a few weeks ago. My basement took on water for the first time. Fortunately it's all good and cleaned up now.

 I've added some family pictures all over the house

 We've been happy

 My mom and I went down to Florida to marathon plan a wedding. Everything fell into place perfectly

 Chris went ring shopping with my mom. After we got engaged she sent me this. How cute is that? And how sweet is it that he took her?!

 I'll be getting married here. I'll give more details later on. Sorry, but I don't want mystery blog readers attending... There is only so much room ;)

I bought a super cool piece of furniture for the basement that will act as a bar and a game area. All we need now is a high top table!

Sorry for the random photo dump blog post, but it was all I could manage. The good news is that I think I'll be painting the kitchen cabinets white this summer and have a few other fun projects planned so this blog will be back to normal soon! 

My Last First Date (part 2)

My first date was with a mini man. I like tall tall men. But, decided to get over myself and be willing to date 5'8" and above. So I met this guy Tobin (yeah really) for a date. He was pretty much Jionni from Jersey Shore. Attractive, but quite compact. He said he was 5'9" but was definitely more like 5'5" and I wore heels. We had a fine time, and then we stood up at the end and I was taller than him. He didn't even walk me to my car after the realization hit us both.

I was off to a great start...

So I lined up 3 more dates. I filled my mom in on my progress and she questioned why so many. I told her it was about quantity rather than quality. I had 0 feelings invested and just wanted to get through as much of the state of Illinois as possible. If something happened, great, but I doubted it. Anything to keep me out of Artie's dove hunting sites. 

So I went out with Chris. I pulled up to one of my favorite restaurants (which turned out to be owned by his family. I was wondering why he was narcissistic enough to choose a place with his name in it!) early. I had almost cancelled since I'd gotten my new iPhone 5 that day and would've rather stayed home to program it than force conversation with this guy. I was early and sat in the car adding my email to it, adjusting the brightness, etc. All the while marveling that I wasn't even blotchy (I get that way when I'm nervous or excited), checking out this hot guy on his phone out in front of the restaurant from my rearview window, and watching the clock. I wondered what this dude even looked like since his pictures were hard to figure out. I couldn't tell if he'd be hot or if that was him 36 years ago... Finally I forced myself to put my phone in to my purse, shut off the car, and get out. I walked up and the hot guy pacing on his phone in front of the restaurant looked up, said "oh, I have to go," shut off his phone, and grinned...

I was shocked. He was hot. HE was my date! Immediately I was blotchy. Ugh. We went in and he just kept grinning at me. The conversation ebbed and flowed and lots of wine was had. I barely ate a thing, and was blotchy the whole time. I had a great time, but barely remember what we talked about. I remember him telling me I talk with my hands more than anyone he's ever met. That must be how I flirt. I have no skills! I remember studying his face, and deciding that I really liked his nose. Near the end of dinner he looked at me and said "I want you to not see other people." I laughed and said "Good luck with that pal!"

He was persistent. He shook my hand at the end of the date. I hugged him because the hand shake just felt so tragic. I was sure I'd never hear from him, after that. 10 min. later he was on the phone. He worked hard to book all of my time and someone managed to be my last first date. I cancelled all the others. 

He knew he'd love me right away, and he said it first. I fought it hard. I didn't trust a word out of his mouth. I didn't trust a thing he did. I just didn't get how someone could like me so much. My friend Ana asked me what was going on with us and I said "I don't get why the guy likes me so much. Something must be wrong with him!" I felt so beyond being lovable, and he just didn't quit. Eventually I trusted him.

He fills my kitchen table with constant flowers. He walks my dog. He gives my cat treats. He can't keep gifts a secret. He texts my parents and has lunch with my brothers. He will go on 0 sleep if it means he can see me. He goes to church with me and prays with and for me. I've never met a man like him. He's fearless. Around Christmas we were out to eat and we entered a raffle and I looked over and saw this:

And he told me he wanted that some day.

And at last on 4/20 he asked.

And before this Christmas I will be Erin Cooper. 

Thank you for joining me on this journey. It's been hard, and painful, and sucked, and been sad, and been ugly, and funny, and annoying, and educational. And like anything you work very very hard for, it tastes good. I am so grateful it wasn't easy. Because it sure was worth all the tears, the short guys, the bird hunters, and the almosts. 

And now on top of DIY projects I can fill you in on DIY wedding planning. Thank you thank you thank you again!

My Last First Date (part 1)

I found "the one."

I can't believe it either. It's time to change the sidebar! I'm going to tell you the whole long sappy story...

It starts last April. Far before I met him. My cousin H and I have this eternally long email chain going. We were both going through hard times. She wanted a healthy baby and I wanted to stop dating jerks and find my husband. We made a pact to pray for each other and vowed that we would appreciate our babies and husbands. It seemed unfair that so many people had both effortlessly, but we would love ours and be glad for the work it took to get there. Flash to this April. She just had a healthy baby girl and I've found myself with a non-jerk soon to be husband. 

God is good!

So now the story of how I became we... Last April my previous relationship ended a few days in to my new job. I felt hopeless. I felt a desperation. I was so disgusted at who I was. I hated looking in the mirror. I felt like I didn't deserve to be loved and I didn't deserve someone being faithful to me. I just plain gave up. I was incredibly lonely and angry that my job took up so much time that I could've spent home alone wallowing in misery. I wished cars would cross the median and hit me, and all kinds of other sad things. I just was over it all. My mom was over me being over it all. She asked if I'd be open for a fix up. I said "whatever. At least it's a free meal." Fortunately she didn't know anyone my age that was single! But she kept looking. That summer she found out about Artie. Artie Van-ryhmeswithmyfirstname (it wouldn't be right to say his full name, but you can figure it out). The only name I've ever come up with that would give me a name like Julia Gulia in the Wedding Singer! She didn't know Artie. He was someone at church's son's brother in law. For real. Artie the atheist. I was told he was a promising young individual who seemed like he might be attractive. I was shown a picture. He appeared quite... bearded. Still, seriously I did. not. even. care. one. little. bit. Whatever. I said "sure, give Artie the atheist my number. It's free food." Except even when she did he never called. Talk about a blow to the ego. A few months passed and my outlook became a little less dark. I had resolved that I was going to stay single. I was quite happy with it. I would probably never be a mother, but I would be a fun aunt. I was fine and good. I heard a great sermon on it at church. I was set. Then one day I was at my brother's folding his laundry while he played video games when my phone rang. I was expecting Comcast later on, so I uncharacteristically answered a number I didn't recognize. It was Artie. Very long story short, Artie turned out to be quite the racist woodsman that invited me to the bar to watch football and talk about dove hunting. No exaggeration. NONE. I told him I had to go but I'd let him know. I called my mom and broke down. Was she that unhappy with who I was alone that this is what I had been reduced to? Why couldn't I just be happy? What was so wrong with being single. I was finally happy. She told me I was enough but all of my words about being lonely didn't mesh with my Artie shunning actions. I pled with her "If I go online and really really really try to find somebody can you not make me go out with Artie?" 

Get it? When doves cry?!

So, I signed up for match.com...

Nesting

I got the coolest thing ever a few weeks ago. The Nest thermostat. I'm blogging about a thermostat. That's how you know it's awesome! 

The first thing I love about it:

-It's pretty. 

Second thing I love about it:

-It's crazy easy to use. 

The third thing I love about it:

-It's connected to the Wifi in my house. So it updates itself.

The fourth thing I love about it:

-There's an app for it. As in- I can lay in bed and adjust it. Not only can I do that, but I can set it if I leave and forget to turn it down, or leave work on a cold night and want the place warmed up before I'm home! I can also view my energy usage and set a scheduled for it. Oh, and it's a free app. Who doesn't love those?

The fifth thing I love:

-It learns. It knows when I'm home and when I leave. It remembers if I crank it up every night at 7 and it remembers when I go to work on Tuesdays. Even if I set a schedule it will still keep learning. 

The sixth thing:

-My dad said it was super easy to install. Since I wasn't going to do it, anything I can do to make it easier for him to install is a great thing! 

The seventh thing:

-It matches all of the black and white I have going on here (I'll be painting the plate behind it to match the stripe. I'm taking this puppy with me whenever I move and putting the old thermostat back, so it's not worth totally fixing up the wall from the old thermostat).

The eighth thing:

-It came with the cutest screwdriver in the world.

People, I have a serious crush on a thermostat! I won't bore you with btu comparisons and energy usage. I'll sum it up with the fact that my furnace has been on 50% less than it was before! There are tons of reviews of this bad boy online. I just wanted to weigh in and tell you I'm in love! While it was expensive right outta the gate, it's saving me money and looking pretty while it does it!

3 Years In...

It has been 3 years, this month, since I bought my house! I can't believe it. I'm so proud of how far we've come together! Join me in remembering (and looking at tons of pictures)?

The stairway right inside the front door:

I did tons of painting, I ripped up the carpet, added molding and trim to the stairs and painted them, removed the lock from the upstairs closet, and replaced the hardware holding up the railing and the handles on the door:

 Hm. It's so pretty! 

More of the same with a different view. I also replaced the thermostat... More on that in another post. I wasn't sure how long I'd love the stripes. I'm still not. Right now I can't imagine ever tiring of them. I love them so much! 

 I've officially painted every single wall in the house (except for the closets), every piece of trim, and replaced all of the blinds. The living room features 100% new furniture. I didn't have a thing in this room prior to moving in. I did own all of the pillows and pictures though!

(Looks like the previous owners had a Nordic Track where my couch is!)